Congress meets Culture and doesn't find her in the least bit fat.

Mrs Culture and Mr Congress are sitting in the circle of the empty concert hall.

A few props lie scattered picturesquely on the stage, left over from a performance that has just finished. From the depths of the building come the noises of stagehands busy at their work. After they have sat there for a while in silence, Mrs Culture suddenly puts her hand on Mr Congress's arm and says:

Congress meets Culture and doesn't find her in the least bit fat.

Culture: Do have a favourite topic, by the way?

Congress: No, as far as content goes, I'm completely open.

Culture: I'm basically like that too – though beauty is very important to me. And well being. The softer things.

Congress: If you look at it that way, then it's the practical side I'm into. But it has got to be presented in an exciting way. What I don't like at all is boredom. I also don't like being alone. I need people around me. Lots of interested people.

Culture: I like people too, but not all of them and not in every situation, I freely admit that. When it comes to the atmosphere of social gatherings, I have certain ideas which I'm unwilling to deviate from.

Congress: Such as what?

Culture: I like creativity in every form. It can be crazy, experimental, no problem at all, but it definitely can't be crude or smutty.

Congress: I totally agree: no weapons, no pornography, no sects.

Culture: Goodness me, it's quite unsettling just to think about it!

Congress: I'm sorry for being so blunt and calling a spade a spade.

Culture: Do you think I'm too sensitive?

Congress: No, your sensitivity perfectly complements my more pragmatic approach. You create the atmosphere, I make sure everything works and the timing's right.

Culture: My biggest strengths come in the moments in-between. In-between time, in-between space. You could say the interval is my métier. When I have some peace and quiet, I get a sense for the value of collective action.

Congress: How nicely you put that.

Culture: Expressing things the right way is important to me. But don't think I'm not capable of action because of that.

Congress: I don't think that at all. You have quite a presence. Nobody would fail to take notice of you, believe me.

Culture: Do you think I'm too fat?!

Congress: For heaven's sake, no! I've looked into the question a lot recently, and it turns out that everyone should have a body that corresponds to their personality...

Culture: I always try to keep the right balance. Neither over-saturated, nor chronically depleted.

Congress: Absolutely. I approve of that. I think you're just perfect the way you are.

Culture: Are you flirting with me?

Congress: I find you attractive, I do admit.

Culture (confidentially): Did you know that many people think we are an item?

Congress (visibly flattered): Really? Well, we should drink to that! What do you say?

Culture: Yes, let's.

(They stand up and walk towards the exit.)

Congress (holding the door open): After you, madam.

Culture: No, please, after you.


Congress & Culture leave the concert hall. Their conversation and laughter can still be heard in the corridors for some time.


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